Highlanders Moving to Palmerston North

An anonymous source close to the Highlanders rugby team has leaked secret plans to move the southern franchise to Palmerston North.

The man trying to woo the Highlanders north is Palmerston North Mayor Jono Naylor.  Naylor was recently seen leaving Stilettos Revue Club in Princes Street with Highlanders Marketing Manager Doug McSweeney and is rumoured to have had meat packs delivered to every member of the Highlanders board of directors.  The meat packs are said to have a combined value of over $360.

The franchise has already held a ‘home’ game at FMG Stadium in Palmerston North and is said to have purchased green uniforms in preparation for their rebranding as the Manawatu-Central Districts Highlanders.

Naylor believes that Palmerston North, long the laughing stock of the North Island for its lack of anything remotely good, would benefit from the prestige of having a Super Rugby team.  He also remains bitter that Otago got to call its boring one-horse town Palmerston, while his city had to change its name.